A Game of Historical Fiction: 194964

[Robinette]

Radio Address by President Robinette to the Free Congress

On the evening of January 15, without warning, the Yukon was deliberately and maliciously ATTACKED by the Evil Red Empire. This was completely WITHOUT provocation and without warning our peaceful Arctic researchers were faced with emanate annihilation by these 16 Fascist Marauding Red Armies. While we as a nation continue to always seek peaceful resolutions and avoid bloody conflicts, we have determined that this is one enemy that cannot be reasoned with. I am sad to report that these brutal fascists also turned there attention to the indigenous black natives living peacefully in the plains of Ontario, where they committed genocide by killing every last one of those gentle and kind defenseless people. In addition, verified intelligence reports that they have plans to, as they might say it, "finish the job" with regards to us. Quite simply, this even further exposes their complete disregard for all that it is good and true, and shows that they intend to do even more harm in the region. Therefore, by executive order, I ask you now to approve a peace mission into the area to forcibly remove this Red threat from the continent. As always, we will be sensitive to the environment and to our surrounding neighbors, with the sole purpose of reestablishing peace to the region. Please join me in Voting YES for PEACE and SAFETY!

 

[Cagey]

Where Dreams Come True...

The Director of the CIA looked out through the one-way mirror at all the happy holiday-makers that thronged the resort outside. He liked to watch them about the theme-park that was the front for the clandestine headquarters for the whole west coast. These were those who it was his sworn duty to protect. He smiled as a family waddled past, gawping at the wonders on offer. The giant head he wore was, of course, already smiling. Oh, there were other offices, great granite and marble buildings full of suits and computers that the CIA maintained, but they were just fronts - this was where the real work got done, this, here, was the front line and cutting edge of international espionage.

The smile disappeared - not on the giant head, of course - as he turned back to his desk and fumbled at the specially constructed over-sized intercom, eventually managing to flip the right switch with his huge padded gloves to contact his PA. “Minnie, send in Speedy please.”

Moments later the Agencies chief Mexican agent entered - having some little difficulty maneuvering his wide sombrero through the doorframe. The Director wasted no time getting down to business. “I’ve asked you in here because we’ve had some worrying reports about the number of Australians who appear to be congregating across the border. Our Orlando office has also raised concerns about a similar concentration in Cuba. Do you know anything about this?” The director regretted the necessity of speaking in the high falsetto, somehow he thought it might detract from his gravitas, but, he reminded himself, the key to a perfect disguise is to remain in character at all times.

“Oh, no worries mate, ” the agent said, fiddling with his bandoliers, “they’re just a bunch of drongos on the wallaby, here to blow the froth off a few and have a good time.”

The Director frowned, though his giant head maintained it’s expression of blissful joy. “Are you quite sure about that? A hundred and twenty thousand seems rather a large group for a hiking party and according to reports they all appeared to have exactly the same backpacks and boots, as though they were issued them...”

“Oh that, don’t get your knickers in a knot, mate,” the agent dismissed the Directors concerns with a wave, then started “I was talking to one bludger and he reckoned this one chain-store down under was having a sale so they all got their clobber at the same place, so, you know, it’s all fair dinkum.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” the Director said, dismissing the agent who left in a hurry claiming he had to get a wriggle on because he was late for a barbie. He leaned back in his chair, somewhat reassured, though there was still something he couldn’t quite put his finger on about the departed agent - something to do with the corks dangling from the brim of his sombrero perhaps? Maybe it was time to kick his concerns upstairs. He fumbled at the intercom again. “Minnie,” he said, "get me Walt..."

 

[Dreadnought]

:laugh:

 

[Badorties]

overheard ourside the Sultans bed chamber

"Is this not the end Kokou? What have I done to displease you so? You come to me in a dream, in a vision to and tell me to unite the peoples of Africa, but you do not give me the dice to do so. I have spilt blood for you. I have conquered the horn for you. But still my enemy presses in on me from the North and from the West. Tell me Kokou... what would you have me do now? Should I slay the blazite prisoners on the prison island? Why have you empowered the Rimbaudians... they are foreigners on our land. Do you want me to call upon our African reserve bothers and slay them in a blood jihad? Yes... is that what I am to do.... give me a sign... give me a sign...."

 

[Dreadnought]

 Arms race is on

An alarming amount of troops have been sent to secure our border to Urals and Kazakhstan, the endless build up has spiraled out of control as each side takes turns to build up under the threat of the other. A global arms race is taking place and l fear our economy is not yet strong enough to keep up. The situation is volatile at best. / T.G

It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.

 

[Robinette]

A Soldier's Christmas Letter finally arrives home

My Dearest Mary,

I am writing from deep in the trenches of the great War on Christmas. War is hell, Mary. I lost my best friend today after hearing him wish someone “happy holidays.” I held him there in my arms and whispered “we can’t be friends anymore because you are a Godless heathen” - and just like that, he was gone.

We’re fighting our hardest, my love, but the enemy’s attacks on Christmas are relentless. Today alone they took out three nativity scenes. And while patrolling near a local elementary school, we saw one of their “holiday pageants,” in which Jesus Christ is only mentioned in SOME of the songs and not ALL of the songs! They’re using children as soldiers - children, Mary. It’s madness, I tell you, utter madness.

I fear I won’t be able to shake the sights I’ve seen: new lovers kissing at an office “holiday party” with no sign of mistletoe or even the smallest crucifix. And these locals with their bizarre traditions: I saw one family celebrating our lord’s day by lighting candles and spinning a top. They’re so primitive in their ways, Mary. We broke down the door of one tribe called “the Cohen's of Panama” and shoved a Christmas tree in their living room, but they did not greet us as liberators. They did yell “Jesus Christ!”, so clearly there is progress.

Things aren’t all bad, Mary. My daily ration of candy canes and egg nog isn’t much, but it’s enough to keep my spirits alive. While fighting the good fight in Nicaragua, I imagined the jungle trees with the presents we’d put under our own tree once this damned war is over, spoils from November’s bloody Black Friday Crusade. And we’d give them to our unborn child, who’s caroling in your womb as I write this letter. That is of course, if I make it home alive.

I must confess, Mary, sometimes I feel as though I’ll not make it. I’ve seen otherwise good men crack under the pressure and say things like “Season’s Greetings” in situations where they’re not sure of a particular person’s religious beliefs. Sometimes I find myself entertaining crazy thoughts like “Maybe ‘Happy Holidays’ makes a certain amount of sense. After all, there are several holidays this time of year and Christmas is only one of them so why go around insisting that people say ‘Merry Christmas’ even on, say, December 6th when Christmas day is still weeks away?…I mean it’s not like you’d wish someone a happy 4th of July on June 17th! You’d say ‘have a great summer’ or something encompassing of the overall season!” …Listen to me, Mary, if they heard me saying such things, they’d hang me for treason. Or at least hang up on me when I made my daily call-in to the Rush Limbaugh Show.

If this is my final correspondence, please know that I fought the good fight. For you. For Christmas.

Yours in Tinsel.

Blue Boy

 

[Cardinalsrule]

Communique to Comrade General Cardinal

Comrade General,
I am faced with near mutiny here at the front; the troops have received word that the blue-coated barbarians sent crack troops, disguised as "Arctic Researchers" and mercilessly slaughtered our brethren, down to the last man, in North America. The men are HOWLING for revenge General, and I have had to enforce strict discipline to bring them under control and prevent an immediate onslaught against the evil blue-coats. The men are asking if we will meekly accept this act of aggression against us, they have heard that they outnumbered our men, who were peacefully manning their Garrison, by as many as 15 to 1, and yet showed no mercy as they viciously cut down our hopelessly outnumbered brothers. There are shouts that this outrage can not be accepted, we MUST reply. General, please send reinforcements and orders soon, as I fear that inaction further incites their wish to avenge their fallen comrades.

 

[Cagey]

Allahu Ackbar

Praise be to Allah. Our Holy Warriors have succeeded in their Jihad, sweeping out of Arabia and down the whole coast of Africa, yea to the very tip of the world to wipe the pagan idolators of Badorites from the face of Africa and spread the word of the Holy Prophet Mohammed, peace be upon him.

 

[Dreadnought]

 Far East liberated

Our enemies fled from their positions hearing of our advance. Opposition was almost non existant as we advanced further and further into China until the entire command was in our hands. We cant help thinking the occupants chose the right colour for their flagg as we liberate China from enemy oppression.

On hearing of the unprovoced attac and slaughter of our freedom loving pacifist brethren in Ontario. Major reinforcements where sent over seas to Venezuela to prevent a simular attac there. The only good news from abroud was hearing that one of our fundamentalist enemies has fallen. I guess sometimes our enemies enemy is our friend. / T.G.

 

[Robinette]

This Day in History

This day in history, 1957: Aussie drops its first H-bomb

Aussie exploded its first hydrogen bomb as part of a series of tests in the Pacific. Details of the bomb at the time were described only as a "nuclear device", as the government wanted to indicate that it was an experimental explosive rather than a fully developed weapon.

Part of the thermo-nuclear weapons programme which was started in December 1954 to develop the megaton hydrogen bomb, the program was launched as a defensive response to the growing threat from the RED Empire at the time. By this date in history, the now extinct RED Empire was close to it's maximum expansion, having conquered the whole of Europe and expanding as far East as Bangladesh.

The test was carried out at high altitude over the largely uninhabited Bikini Atol to minimise nuclear fall-out. This was the most important range of tests carried out by Aussie to date, developed with limited resources and in a remarkably short space of time. Scientists had taken two years to develop the tests compared with their American counterparts who took seven years before exploding their first device.

The bomb was dropped by a four-engined jet, Valiant of No 49 Squadron Robinette Bomber Command, normally based in Fiji.

Tensions during this cold war period were particularly high due to an escalation of recent events, including the RED Empire's attempted destruction of the Aussie arctic research facility and the successful takeover of Bangladesh. This was a period of distrust and fear on both sides, which led to ever increasing tensions. These forward bases were key to the development of the nuclear weapons program, but this was a secret not revealed until years later, long after and the collapse and destruction of the RED Empire. Fortunately, for the sake of humanity, the heavy water from the arctic research facility continued unabated, while the decoy base in Bangladesh bore the burden of sacrifice.

This is how things were during those tense times.

To this day, historians continue to debate the real causes of the RED Empire's collapse, but it is without question that these events played a role in their ultimate demise.



H-Bomb test at Bikini Atol - Photo courtesy of AU military archives

H-Bomb test at Bikini Atol - Photo courtesy of AU military archives

 

[trailblazer]

Antarctic Expeditionary Force Heads North

For forces who have spent the past half year stuck in the permafrost, South Africa was seen as a more jolly destination for studying the penguins and whales. Indeed copying the breeding pattern of Emperor Penguins, these forces decided there was safety and comfort in numbers.

And how successful was their breeding. In no time at all, a total of 79 scientists including several cloned mini-me's have established a base on Robben Island, just off the coast of Cape Town, which had several cell blocks that were currently being under utilised.

From there they intend to launch geographic surveys around the region to study the migration of wild beasts from across the Tanzanian Savannah and within the Botswana desert region. Another focus will be the well-known trouble spot of Congo, where the monkeys and geurillas are known to have not been getting on now for quite a while.

 

[Dreadnought]

 Guyana joins our cause

The world is looking more and more like a powder keg ready to explode. Our forces are ordered to stand and hold as we observe the actions of our enemies. Over seas only minor military force was needed to overthrow the puppet regime in Guyana finally giving the people of Guyana a chance for a brighter future.

 

[Rimbaud]

:P

RCA Institution status report.

This status report was elaborated by former analyst Agim Behar, who was in charge of positioning specialization and global comunication in the institution around xx/xx/xxxx -xx/xx/xxxx. This status reveals the position of the troops and the commanders around xx/xx/xxxx which is a crucial date, known to be the heart of the war and the preamble of the hecatomb that was about to unleash days later.

The report has been translated from it's original albanese for the better comprehension of the english bureau.

To Bureau.

In the last report I corroborated a list of regions that were expected to be in our domain for strategical purposes in this larger than expected war; Now I have to inform that some of this regions which we armed are no longer in our control, I describe especifical happenings in each region in the next lines:

Northern Canada:
It was not expected to see how other fronts put a numerous army in the cold territories of Canada, our sent troops (under Mayor Baptiste Dujardin orders) were capable of make friendly contact with the inuit tribes that populate north eastern maple territories. After this first contact our tribe specialist in the northern territories Kjetil Aarseth (aka Mihail Kolevatov) was able to convince the tribe leaders to fight with us. Unfortunately most of the Inuit tribes carry a pacific lifestyle, so here we can only expect their knowledge of the region to help the foreigner troops we sent. Until today we have not had any hostile contact with the neighbouring armies, but it is said that this war will change a lot in the next days, so we hope Mayor Dujardin will be able to mantain position in the white lands.

Mississippi:
The little army that was sent to Memphis were ravaged by the surprise attack the yellow forces made through all North America, all the men in this mission are confirmed death. Please send some marshmallow boxes to their families.

South America:
Today our South America camp is the strongest positioning we have in the world, in the earlier expedition General Lazaro Guevara took his troops to a flawless conquer of the western south america states. After this our Iberoamerican specialist Emiliano Bolivar overcame our expectations and was able to made friendly first contact with the more than 200 different cultures that inhabit this side of the continent. Today qechuas, charruas, atacamas and a large etc. Had given enough help to the maintenance of our other fronts that hasn't given us enough fruits. Also it is important to say that the area now pass through an apparent peace time, still, we are prepared to counterattack any hostilitie.

Scandinavia and Kola Peninsula:
Captain Kolmogorova troops who achieved to made good relations with the Sami people were suddenly blown out of the map by the agressive expansionism the red horde has been guiding, still we have no information at all about what happened there, so although we are afraid of the worst their deaths can't be confirmed, we are still trying to get information about this.

Southern states of Africa:
The toughest and luckiest positioning we have till now, although they are vastly armed and reinforced the dangers that have menacing this side of the world have driven mayor Bene Kabeli's troops to the edge. At first the Badortian evil emperor publicly exposed his intentions to suicide-attack this front, fortunately he was slaughtered on time by a great move of Mr. Winston Cagey army. Today we fear an attack by France army coming from the south, we are still expectant about the income future on this and still have not took any decitions on how we will manage survivors.

China/India:
Our intent for China's unification directed by Baio Tse-Tung were failed as the black army decided to kill all the chinese people they could, our troops had to scape to India where they await further orthers.

Hope this will help on your future decitions, in my personal opinion the strategie with world cornered fronts is innovative but dangerous as we dont have a centralized force.

I will be awaiting further orders, informing from Tirana.

Information specialist.
Central Communication Commision.
Agim Behar.

 

[Rimbaud]

Aztec empire destroyed

Hernan Cortés was born in 1485. He came from a fairly famous family and his father was a captain in the Spanish army...

Ok, i'm sorry if this sound like bad, but i will give some corrections to this, not saying the knowledge is bad but there are some mistakes, maybe it will help someone, or not. :fisheye:

I´m also adding some information to give it some context.

Cortés heard of Christopher Columbus' discoveries in the new world. He wanted to travel and see new lands. He also wanted to make his fortune and fame.

Although Cortés had interest in the new lands, he didn't sailed on purpose or due to his dreams. He had to abandon Spain because he was scaping from the law, after becoming Velazquez friend and conquered the new Spain, the gonvernment decided to ignore this and became forgotten for some centuries.

In 1518, Cortés was put in charge of an expedition to the mainland of Mexico. This was something that he had wanted to do for many years.

He do wanted to make an expedition, but he did it by stealing the boats that were prepared for someone else´s expedition and convincing 600 men to follow him, promising wealth etc. He did it in this date because he heard Velazquez were to cease him from the government due that he started to distrust Cortés.

He soon met a native woman named Dona Marina. Dona Marina spoke the Nahuatl language of the Aztecs and could help to interpret for Cortés.

Just for context, he did not met her, he bought her as a slave, but she learn Spanish so fast it helped her to be a translator to Cortés, they apparently fell for each other through all the journey (Other stories say he raped her until she got pregnant, still not confirmed). Also, Spanish called her Doña Marina (Doña being a sinonimous of Mrs., not her name) her real name was Malintzin.

Gathering his small force of 500 men, Cortés began to march to Tenochtitlan, the heart of the Aztec Empire. Along the way he met with other cities and peoples. He found out that a number of other tribes didn't like their Aztec rulers. He made alliances with them, including the powerful Tlaxcala people.

Just for context, It's good to remember that the Aztec empire was known through all mesoamerica for their bloody way of conquering other cities, they made some massacres with pseudo-pacific manors, and when they felt their army was weak they started wars to make it strong. Seriously, a lot of historians always emphatize how the aztec empire got slaughtered and how the Spanish men were bastards, but the aztec empire was pretty gore back then.

Cortés took Montezuma captive within his own city. However, Governor Velasquez from Cuba sent another expedition under conquistador Panfilo de Narvaez to take command from Cortés. Cortés left Tenochtitlan to fight Narvaez.

Moctezuma* Montezuma is a way the spaniards called him because they couldnt pronounce it (Actually is Motecuhzoma, but that would be to much detail and i don't wanna be hated for this). This is still discussed, some people think that actually Cortés took captive Moctezuma, and he gave them treasures etc. because he was afraid of his life; Some other think that Moctezuma was delighted with Cortés as he really thought he was Quetzalcoatl, still in any case, his bad decitions and/or cowardly were the first trigger for the early demise of the aztec empire, because back the empire still have the force to slaughter that tiny army Cortés had. Anyway, the fall of the empire wouldn't delay so long after this.

Also, Narvaes was sent to KILL Cortés due his insurrection, not just to command him.

After taking care of Narvaez, Cortés returned to Tenochtitlan. He found out that his men had killed King Montezuma. He decided to flee the city. On the night of June 30, 1520 Cortés and his men escaped from the city. Many of them died. The night is called La Noche Triste, or "The Sad Night".

Cortés soon returned to Tenochtitlan with a large army of his allies, the Tlaxcala. He laid siege to the city and eventually conquered the city and with it the Aztec Empire.

This also has been long discussed because there are no exact facts. What is more accepted is that when Cortés left the capital the people revolted against Moctezuma and killed him in the act, just to let space to the next emperor Cuitlahuac. Cuitlahuac apparently was a great leader and battled against Spaniards, winning la noche triste battle, the empire seemed to be in charge again, but then an epidemic smallpox (Lets remember that this disease did not existed in the Americas, so the people of the empire did not have any antibodies against it) unleashed and it killed a large part of the empire, including Cuitlahuac. Then it was easily conquered by Cortés men, because next tlatoani (emperor) Cuauhtemoc couldn't unify his people against the illnes.

Again, i'm sorry to do this, but i can't help it, i'm some kind of history maniac. Hope it's not a problem, just wanted to clear information.

 

[Cardinalsrule]

Communique to Comrade General Cardinal

General,
The troops that you sent to us I put to use securing our borders as best I could, I believe that soon a global war will break out. Being surrounded on all sides by large garrisons that in some areas badly outnumber us, I am worried that our borders will not hold. I understand that at your next opportunity you will send a larger garrison, it is badly needed if we are to survive. The blue-coats and the yellow islamists to our south are completely uncivilized and show no mercy on the battlefield even to noncombatants but call us "barbarians" and "the red horde". I hope this message finds you well and that the reinforcements arrive in time. Is it true that you will send General Matheny and Field Marshall Molina to aid us? The men have heard this and are hopeful that these great warriors will be our salvation. The youngsters, listening to the stories told by the young officer Wacha that you sent us, have great faith that they will help turn the tide, if indeed they come.

As always, we await your orders.

 

[Dreadnought]

 Alaska

It was right there... we could se it from our house...

A cheap easy target, could have been bought for 2 cents an acre...

 

[Robinette]

Ok, i'm sorry if this sound like bad, but i will give some corrections to this, not saying the knowledge is bad but there are some mistakes, maybe it will help someone, or not. :fisheye:

I´m also adding some information to give it some context

..............................

Again, i'm sorry to do this, but i can't help it, i'm some kind of history maniac. Hope it's not a problem, just wanted to clear information.

Thank you Rimbaud... I truly appreciate the additional detail, however, as the minister of propaganda for the new BLUE MEXICAN Nation, I must prevent at all costs the dissemination of everything you have said to our people.

The only revisionist history currently being allowed in Mexico and Central America is that of the BIRTH OF THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION originating in Aussie-land.

 

[Rimbaud]

Thank you Rimbaud... I truly appreciate the additional detail, however, as the minister of propaganda for the new BLUE MEXICAN Nation, I must prevent at all costs the dissemination of everything you have said to our people.

The only revisionist history currently being allowed in Mexico and Central America is that of the BIRTH OF THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION originating in Aussie-land.

Well, that may explain the blue anorak guys that burned all my books and computer some hours ago...

 

[Robinette]

Well, that may explain the blue anorak guys that burned all my books and computer some hours ago...

haha... but based on your current position holding the Andes, i would love to learn a bit more about the inca's...

all i remember about them is that they lived high in the Andes mountains... and they had built thousands of miles of well-paved roads, but never figured out the wheel. Called the Children of the Sun, none went hungry, and none were homeless... hmmmm... What else? oh yeah, the spanish wiped them out too... mostly because of those disease things you mentioned, but some by the sword too. Does that about sum it up?

 

[Rimbaud]

haha... but based on your current position holding the Andes, i would love to learn a bit more about the inca's...

all i remember about them is that they lived high in the Andes mountains... and they had built thousands of miles of well-paved roads, but never figured out the wheel. Called the Children of the Sun, none went hungry, and none were homeless... hmmmm... What else? oh yeah, the spanish wiped them out too... mostly because of those disease things you mentioned, but some by the sword too. Does that about sum it up?

Well, you can add that most of their art represent phallic figures and sex positions. I won't tell more because, umm you know, i want to have this computer for some months before it gets burned or crucified.

Or impaled.

Love
Rimbaud